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On the Back Step

how lucky am I

to have a place

where the trees have grown tall

since long before I was born

but they’re still mine, and I’m theirs 

how lucky 

to have a place with beds of moss

suitable for sleeping

curated species

chirruping birds

nowhere to be

the clucking hens, ticking their internal clocks

the only timepiece i needed

Waking Up Feeling Like You Slipped In and Out of My Life So Fast

my to-do list is very long 

and I think of you between every task

more. probably three hundred times a day. 

I want to cross you off too and be finished with you. 

I just keep saving it for the end. 

recurring places of comfort

photographs & poems by jillian benham

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“this is my first body of work that is deeply about me and not others”

Recurring Places of Comfort debuted to the public at Avalon North, a women’s social arts and workshop club in Dover, NH on February 7th, 2020. It is a collection of personal black and white film photographs and corresponding poems, written over the course of five months. The show was up temporarily and only viewable by the public for two nights. Check out the photos and a few of the poetic selections below, and stay tuned for information on a book of the collection coming soon.

Citrus Twist

so distracted am I by the desire for descent into a love so true and different

oh if this were not my time to remain deeply alone

if you had not bewitched me into this unfelt emotion like a sixth sense

I could remain indifferent and steadfast, the greatest unfeeling fragment of myself.

Kaleidoscope

there is a special level of romance in uncertainty

when I try now to imagine who I could become

i’m never sure, the choices expand forever

i used to imagine infinite possibilities that all entailed being free

now I envision hereafters that all end in being alone

Neurological Etch-a-Sketch

my brain moves in full fantasy

stories are edited and seriously altered

tailored tightly to an ever expanding expectation

of what is and what was

until I forget how one made me feel

like crawling into myself

and how another made me see that

I am still so human it hurts

your brain will warp anything

with no regard to what you want to hear

but I won’t let it feed me lies

as it erases and erodes ten thousand tiny moments

that feature you